Is Facebook really good for a bipolars psyche?

I was looking at my Facebook newsfeed today with tears in my eyes! My niece who I held as a newborn 13 years ago graduated from her primary school!! I saw pictures of her in a beautiful black and white high waisted dress, her golden hair flowed over her shoulders and past her waist,  and her bright blue eyes stood out due to her beautiful summer tan (which she has been blessed to have all year round!!!).

I missed so much of her life due to my sister wanting to stay away from my family! I see my nieces status updates, and the little clips of her having a ball with her friends. Seeing all these updates are little reminders of how little I really know about her.

This is the same with many friends lives, you watch them get married, have kids, go on holidays. But, you arn't ever invited to play a role in their lives. I want a good friendship with all of them! I understand that 90 percent of my friends live over 400kms away...(other 10 percent live near me! No one visits!) So, we can't help but be observers on the sidelines of each others lives. 

I find that with my bipolar, I am extremely hot and cold towards everyone of my friends (due to the roller coaster of moods and emotions!) this causes problems with my friendships straight away... No one wants a 'part time' friend that only catches up with you when their moods feel like it... Or truthfully speaking ... can tolerate you and your first boring 30 minutes or so of bitching, backstabbing and squabbling...

What about when a good friend texts you to cancel your plans just to see their other "not so wierd friends?"

Then you see pictures that they have uploaded of themselves with a face mask on laughing with their other mates :(

The feelings and obsessive thoughts suck so badly.

"Does she hate me? Is there something wrong with me? Maybe it's because she's embarrassed to be seen with me? " Or "why would you do that to me? She's a bitch!. I am going to get her back so badly? How am I going to get her back...?" (Spends all night plotting dark horrible sadistic thoughts in your head.)

 

The above is just examples of how a bipolar mind works.

What about when a "friend" from school won't accept your friend request?

Those horrible questions start again! Obsession, making a tiny issue as big as the sun.

What is your reaction when a "friend" unfriend you? I flip lol! I go through everything that I could have done to that person to upset them enough to unfriend me! Obsession much?

If someone upsets or irritates me or I get the sudden urge to clean out my friends list... Sparatically. I can be very rash with my decisions at that time... That mood or emotion can be final... Even if the friendship can be salvaged easily! I figure that out after a few hours or a few days :( I should have a moderator in my life :(

My psyche can be affected by Facebook... But during my journey in this life all of these problems strike at anytime anywhere that shatter my reality to pieces. 

Well, till next time xox